Andrew W. K. - I Get Wet
(Universal, 2002)

I Get Wet quite possibly takes the gold for the most baffling mainstream rock release of 2002. The music is an eccentric blend of seventies bonehead rock, eighties hair metal, and nineties punk ethic. Add in a splash of corporate pop and lead grunter Andrew Wilkes-Krier's deadly snarls, and you have the mostly laughable train wreck that is Andrew W.K., someone who is either so unbelievably brilliant that we, the feeble minded, cannot comprehend him, or he truly is the numbskull that we take him for.

Either way, this album shows little intelligence. I'll respect Andrew for the diversity he has included, and that he actually dared to foist this into the public eye, but my respect only goes so far. Occasionally, the album rocks with vigor, mainly on lead singles Party Hard and She Is Beautiful, both completely brainless, albeit catchy, Kiss-reminiscent metal tunes. I Love NYC almost makes it as guilty fun, but I would suspect mostly under the influence. Everywhere else, the synthesized techno beats take over on failed pomp Got To Do It and counterfeit power ballad Don't Stop Living In The Red.

Basically, every song here sounds exactly the same and goes at the same pace, and such an attribute might qualify the record for great background music, but no, it carries an irritating quality that just makes me want to puke, just as Andrew apparently loves to do. And the song titles show little hope, as evidenced by the following: It's Time To Party, Party Hard, Party Till You Puke, Girls Own Juice...should I really go on? In conclusion, I Get Wet is just a big mess of a record. I am wholly confused on who this is supposed to appeal to, since it rocks too hard for the pop aficionados, and it stays safe and saccharine, completely alienating the hard rock fans. Some may like it, but for the sane majority, party hard elsewhere.

Rating: 1/5