Well, aren't you? I'm taking a moment from my usual reviews to write a rant about movie theaters. It used to be where I could deal with it. The commercials before the previews, bumping the whole thing to 20 or 30 minutes, pissed me off pretty well, but I dealt with it. They were easy to make fun of at least.
But now they've gone too far. I don't know how many other states have this, but recently in Portland, OR, at this chain of theaters we have called Regal Cinemas, they've started "The 2wenty." What is "The 2wenty?" Why, it's a bastard of a promotional campaign of behind-the-scenes looks at movies, music, and television that starts a full TWENTY MINUTES before the movie's set start time. On the plus side, it doesn't eat into the time when you're supposed to be watching a movie. On the very negative side, this comes close to destroying whatever pre-show ritual you have.
Mostly that means conversations are hard to hold. The lame-ass "Regal Radio" they had in the background was fine ‘cause you couldn't hear it. But this is at Trailer Volume (where it's not as loud as the movie, but loud enough to hold your attention). I just recently encountered this while seeing "Phone Booth" yesterday, which I went to alone. In order to kill the twenty minutes I had left (I had thirty or so, but I was stopped in the hall to see what I thought about "Bad Boys II"), I brought along the Willamette Week (if you live in Portland or the greater Portland area, I implore you to purchase the last great newspaper being published within the state). So I tried reading it, but it was impossible to concentrate with "The 2wenty" in the background.
What's more, they have to turn down the lights to...well, I don't know that it's as low as Trailer Light, but it's certainly lower than Entry Light (the light level when you enter the theater while the advertising slideshow is playing). That's right, they force you to watch this. Even the people who came together were forced to steer off their conversations for this crap.
Am I bitching over nothing? Maybe. But the pre-show conversations were a great time to argue over movies, take their lame but enticing quizzes, and just hang out in the seats you were lucky enough to get (this is especially important on opening night, which can be roughly compared to a feeding frenzy).
As a final analysis, I ask myself what is worse: Commercials when you're supposed to be watching the movie, or commercials before all that. After much thought, I prefer commercials while you're supposed to be watching the movie. And here's why. Part of the joy of opening night IS just sitting in the chairs, watching the stragglers get stuck in the front row. Sadistic? Maybe, but you know you love it too. Can't enjoy that with the other geeks who were generous enough to join you in line two hours before the movie if you're watching TLC talk about how they inspire each other (which in another context WOULD have my attention). Also, with the commercials bumping up the movie length, you form an even great butt mold to the chair, AND you can stay out that much longer.